People leap for many reasons. Jobs, careers, illness, pregnancies, marriages. Leaping is huge walk a faith. This summer, we took a leap. A huge one. Although we're still not completely settled, we've made it through a lot.
Why did we leap? People constantly ask me and I stumble at my response. Trying to explain that we left family, thriving businesses (which Shane is still commuting to run), and a beautiful community of amazing friends....I suddenly don't know what to say!?
Mostly I say....because we love it here. Life is short. There are no guarantees.
What is comfort? What is regret? What is worth more? What weighs heavier on our souls? We leapt for fear of what we'd miss if we stayed where we were.
Have you heard Madonna's song, Jump? "I'm not afraid of what I'll face, but I'm afraid to stay..." That pretty much sums up how I felt about leaving Ohio. Something that has been in me...a calling I could never explain.
Family is there....both sides. Beautiful home, the BEST neighbors you could ever ask for. It was not easy, by any means. Many tears. Many heartaches. I miss my family and friends so much!!! It is terrifying. It if full of unknowns and insecurities. But, I felt a pull. I felt a call. I felt, with every fiber of my being, that we were to be in CO....sooner rather than later. God is yet to show us why. Our adventure is just beginning....but I am certain there will be purpose.
I lived in CO 10 years ago. Left to see where my love for Shane would lead me. I felt the 'pull' then too....but it was to go back to my roots. God blessed me with a happy marriage and two beautiful boys (and another beautiful boy of Shane's). Our family grew up with the support, love and building of relationships with our extended family in the area. A firm foundation. Relationships established. Like the ones with my dad....who died (ugh....I really hate saying that) last December.
You see, God knew we needed to be in Ohio to establish all of those relationships. He knew my dad's story. And there he went...writing the perfect timing of everything. Not that my dad's (what I think is) early departure is perfect in my eyes....but I know it is in God's. And the fact that we got to enjoy him....healthy, playing and smiling all the way up to the end, that is a HUGE blessing. The fact that we didn't move, then he got sick....blessing. We were there. We loved. We laughed. We grieved...and and continue to do so.
Miles last memory of Papa is decorating our Christmas tree Thanksgiving weekend. Finn's last memory is beating him at Battleship the week after that. Smiles, laughter, hugs and love where exchanged. They'll have that forever. Amen.
So I wanted to write a blog to share ALL of the AMAZING ways God helped us through this transition thus far. To give Him the GLORY. To share how I see God's hand in every day, little things...even amidst trials and challenges. His Glory and Blessings always shine through. Its our choice to see them and hang on to them. I pray that I will ALWAYS hang on to them...even in the darkest of days.
Last September my Uncle Carl came to Ohio for a visit. Being diagnosed with kidney cancer earlier in the year, I asked to take photos of him in my studio. We did. I cherish them. He is still doing great! :) Praise! I think God knew I could not handle losing my dad and UCAT (who has been like a father to me) at the same time. It was hard enough losing my Aunt Billy (another close relative) a month before Dad. Rough holiday season last year....
After he left, I thought....I haven't even done this for my own parents. What am I waiting for? So my dad came up with Joyce the following week and we took photos of them together, individually and with my boys in my studio. I got busy with fall and didn't have time to squeeze in my mom/Shane's parents. (and now I'm a bit scared, to be honest, to take photos of them....as if my denial has any power of keeping them here as long as I want ; )
We went to the pumpkin farm with Dad and Joyce in October. I took LOTS of pics. I even took videos of my dad with the boys....jumping in leaf piles, tractor rides and train whistles, swings in the woods. Memories they will cherish...and so will I. November came his diagnosis. We trimmed the tree. December were scans, appts and test. Chemo started. He did AMAZINGLY well and came home for Christmas. I got to spend a couple hours with him Christmas day. Saw him for a minute on Sat...dropped off the boys Christmas gifts they made/bought for him (and he text'd back thank you's to them). Sunday afternoon...Pulmonary Embolism. In a matter of hours....gone. Rocked our family to the core.
But you see...I have professional photos of him! We had a recent, beautiful image to use for his obituary. I have videos of him with the boys. Every year when we trim the tree, we will think of him & honor him. I fully believe the Holy Spirit led me to capture all of those moments that I now cherish beyond belief!
We had hired our builder in September. By December we were questioning whether we should move forward (given my dad's questionable health). But Christmas day Dad told me he wanted to see the house...even if under construction. So we moved forward. God knew...we only had 3 days left. Even tho my hesitant heart was full of uncertainty of moving forward and moving west with his future unknown....God knew I'd need this distraction to keep me busy and walk me through the grief.
Had I not been distracted with the gazillion questions that need answered about the house, I'm sure I would not be grieving the same. I still cry...just about every day. But I'm busy. God knew I would need busy.
I came out to CO in May to oversee the staking of the house....be sure it was where we wanted it. Big deal before they go digging/pouring footers. CO had record rain falls in May. I'd never seen anything like it. It POURED from the time I got there, on....and I was only in for 2 1/2 days. In Monday, Tuesday staking, out Weds.
I prayed & prayed that Monday night. At 7300 elevation (house site) you are IN the clouds when it rains and you cannot see more than 100 ft away, let alone to see if the house is angled how you want it.
Poured all Tuesday morning. The company even asked to reschedule. We pushed though. I stopped and grabbed coffee for the guys. Headed to the property. Stopped at our friends to borrow mud boots. As I left their house and drove to the lot, the rain stopped. The clouds lifted and the sun even peeked out for a minute. The forecast was 100% chance of rain!!! It stayed dry the whole time we were there. Amazing grace!!
When my builder got out of her car she said...."You must have been praying REALLY hard!!!" : )
God showed up. Every time I drive to that lot I cry about my dad. I feel him there and I miss him so very much. He never got to see it. So its a very emotional place for me. I bawled like a baby. I felt his presence sitting next to me in the car. I know he prays for us up there!
The last month I was in Ohio I had 14 photoshoots. I try not to book anymore than 6-8 a month. Between my mom responsibilities, Shane's office work, my business....its the fine line between crazy and 'losing-it' momma. So to have 14....insanity. On top of trying to process all the emotions of leaving and selling things, packing, organizing. Complete chaos and emotional instability. But...blessing. I was too busy to really emotionally dive into what was happening. And it was extra cash for the moving expenses....blessing.
We had the house on the market since April and had aggressively been dropping the price. No luck. I was moving end of June no matter what. The house here was going to be framed and the builder needed me here to answer questions, oversee, etc. We were really hoping it would sell before I left.
Morning of Friday, 6/19th I woke up and felt a blanket of warmth and love like I've never felt before fall over me. I didn't even get out of bed....I just laid there and enjoyed it. Those moments....I feel are either God/an angel in my presence....or my dad. So I didn't dare move.
When I finally sat up I had the thought 'pop' in my head (which I feel is the Holy Spirit) saying...."we're going to sell your house today."
We had an open house that Sunday so it was totally possible to have an offer come in from one of the families through.
Let me paint the scene....kids had VBC and we're rushing to get out the door for church. Dishes from last night and breakfast in the sink. My dirty jammies (and who knows what else) on the bathroom floor. Bed unmade. Toilet paper package thrown at the bottom of the stairs to go up later (right in front of the front door). Wedding rings laying out. Completely chaotic and crazy....I was still working, packing, selling....and my house was a reflection of being pulled in a million directions.
Driving to church I get a call for a showing. At 11am. I wouldn't be home till 12:30!!!!
Had I NOT heard that 'voice' that morning I most certainly would've said NO WAY!!! But I kindly warned them of the current state of the house and approved the showing.
Nothing stolen. Went well. Very interested.
Huh?
Gentlemen that was widowed with 3 boys was the potential buyer. My house probably felt very much like home. : )) Only God would know that!!!
And on July 24th, we closed. Just one week after Shane drove our stuff to CO and we settled into our apartment. Coincidence....impossible. Divine intervention. Amen!
In the midst of closing the house (while under contract) we had to replace the thermostat, hot water tank, amongst other additional things that later came up on the inspection list. It was, BY FAR, an easy transaction. It was one disaster after another. The realtor even said it was a difficult transaction. God does not hand us everything on a silver platter...but there was blessing and perfect timing.
I packed the house (mostly by myself) while our kids played with my mom. We had several friends show up with meals...even GF for Shane. HUGE. HUGE blessing! Food was the last thing on my mind.
Our close friends, and neighbors, let us stay at their house the last few nights while we were loading the trailers....bringing some calm and normalcy to our kids in midst of taking everything they had ever known apart. Not to mention, we could just walk across the lawn and fall into bed.
The day we loaded the trailer, my brother Tom came and organized/managed everything. Shane & I were both in tears that morning....overwhelmed by emotion, stress and exhaustion. Tom was an ANGEL and we would've never been able to do it alone. God bless him!!
My mom watched the kids overnight that night as she knew we worked all day and were beside ourselves trying to get everything left lingering in the house, done. God bless her!!
Did I mention the morning after we loaded the truck we had a showing?! And another that evening?! So while we unloaded the house I was dusting, vacuuming and cleaning for the showings in case we needed a back up offer.
God does not lay down a red carpet....but he does give you opportunity. We always push as hard as we can to keep up with those!! lol But it was really digging DEEP to pull off those last two showings.
Oh....and the week I packed the house, both boys came down with fevers for 2 days each. They wanted to lay on the couch/snuggle....but the couch was sold. The house was packed and their mom was far from a place to sit and snuggle. But my mom did....blessing.
My niece, Madi, rode with the boys, dog & I out to CO. I don't know what I would've done without her extra set of hands, support and company. I will always cherish & appreciate that time with her.
We needed to be in CO (framing beginning) but our apartment wouldn't be ready for 2 wks. Another lovely obstacle.
Our friends who live down the street from the new house said....we're going to Denmark to visit family, the house will be empty....why don't you just stay there?! We moved into our apartment the day they came home. Coincidence?! Divine Intervention.
So I cleaned the apartment when I got the keys. I cleaned their house after. I stocked their fridge with some basic and stocked ours....then cooked dinner for everyone when the boys arrived with the trailer. Easy, no...the boys & I worked hard to pull it all off, but what a huge blessing!
Back to Madi....our 24 hours drive out west....no major construction. No major storms. We were safe. No blown tires. No major set backs (aside from a bird hitting our windshield & getting jammed in the roof rack....ew!!!). But even with that....God put a kind gentleman in the gas station we stopped at (the next state over) who bravely removed the bird from our roof. Blessing!!
When Shane finally left from Ohio with the trailer (and my brother, Dave, nephew, Austin, and stepson, Hudson with) he didn't even cross the state border before a trailer tire blew. Easy....no way. Blessing...Walmart was RIGHT THERE and had not one, but FOUR new trailer tires to put on. A few hours delay, but they were safely on the road and made it out then....and back without any more problems. No major construction, no major storms. Praise!
My brother, Dave, took a week off work to come out and help us. Keeping Shane company on the way and helping us unload when they arrived. Then rode all the way back with Shane, too....which I was SO VERY thankful Shane had company. I don't know what we would've done without him!! They basically came, had 3 days here (which we moved most of that time) and then turned & drove back! Dave took time off work to do that?! God bless him!!
After Shane left I was at the house one day, walking it with the builder and talking over things. She explained that our house was on awesome soil. 100 ft away...our septic system was HUGE because of the clay soils. Had those clay soils been under our house, we would've been looking at tremendous costs to stabilize the house under the foundation. I started to cry and just raise my hand....thank you, God!!! It would've blown our budget.
My niece left on 4th of July....little unsure of flying by herself back to Ohio (first time). I get to the airport and explained the situation. They gave me and the boys gate passes so we could walk her to the gate!!! I didn't even have their id's....and I didn't think we'd be allowed! Praise!!
The apartment was a referral from my dear friend, and mentor, Jennifer. Not only did they have a short term lease (which I found very hard to find here) but they had one available when we needed it! Its perfect. Its functional. Its 5 minutes from the boys new school. Praise!
When we left, we had Madi with us the first week, Shane & crew with us a week after that, then 4 days to organize before my mom came for 2 weeks, then Shane came back and was here for Miles birthday and start of school. This is the first time we've been 'alone' since the move and the boys did AMAZINGLY well with all the transitions b/c of all our visitors!! Praise!!
The boys were accepted into a great school here. Smaller school, perfect fit for Finn. We won't even be in the same county when we move (which they know) but we were able to get both boys enrolled....and they have waiting lists! And it is tuition free....praise!!
We are in the Bible belt of the west. Its not a matter of finding a church, its deciding which amazing church do we want to frequent/join?! Praise! And I was asked to rejoin the awesome group of girls I was with 10 years ago (when I lived here last) for Bible study again!!!
Back tracking a bit....when we were loading the trailer I bought several blankets from GoodWill to use (since we are storing just about everything till the house is done). We ran out. Without thinking I go to Uhaul and rent blankets in the chaos of loading everything into the trailers.
I arrive in CO a few days later and it hits me....the blankets are packed in trailers that will not be opened for months. There is no way to return the blankets!!! So I call Uhaul....hundreds of dollars to buy them. That's the best solution we came up with. I thought....its ok, we didn't have to rent a truck, so this is a small thing to pay when moving cross country.
We drive down to the Uhaul store and I explain the situation to the guy at the counter. He says....we'll just write them off as damaged and sell them to you for a $1 a piece. (!!!!!) Elated....Thank you!!! Praise and Praise!!!
And back tracking further. I went to Finn's school for 'Muffins with Mom' around Mother's day in May. About a month before the move. Someone walks up and asks how things are going and what date we're leaving.
A woman sitting across from me (never met before) says....I'm so sorry to interrupt/eaves drop....but do you need boxes?! YES PLEASE!!! She & her family just had a corporate move from AZ and had wardrobe boxes, packing paper, different sized boxes, everything!!! I made multiple trips to her house and took everything she offered! She was thrilled someone else was using them....I was thrilled I didn't have to buy boxes!!! Praise and Praise again!!!
So the story continues....we see blessings and praises daily. God connecting me with random people who are jump starting my career here. The boys making friends at school and feeling settled within days of starting a completely new routine. I could go on and on....
God is so good. Even in the trials. Even in the storms. Even through sickness (just got news of two good friends having cancer this week which has my heart so heavy). Even through grief.
Every day I count my blessings. Its never easy....and challenges keep me on my knees. Daily I pray and ache for all the hurt I have in my heart and see in this broken world. But the Lord is faithful.
Look for your blessings. Count them. Use your talents He gave you. Brighten the world!
It is prophesy....things will always get worse till Christ returns. But there will always be blessings. Little ones and big ones. Praise God for his abundant blessings! His faithfulness in storms. His perfect will & timing....even when we can't see it.
I didn't want these precious memories to slip away without documentation. Thank you for reading (if you made it this far : )!
Don't hesitate....take a leap. Live every day as the gift it is. My dad lived by these words...and I pray I will too.
I pray for each and every person who reads this...may God shower blessings on you today that you clearly see. Hang on to those blessings....count them when the darkness comes. Then you will always have a light. Lots of love....Laura