Wrapping up 2015. What a ride.
The ups of planning, building and moving into our dream home.
The downs of leaving family & friends and wading through a sea of grieving.
Life moves on...
Tonight we ate sauerkraut. We played card games. We are heading to bed at 10pm. : )
But tonight brings a time of reflection, a time of direction, a time of being still...
Tomorrow is Dad's birthday...which is a double whammy after passing the anniversary of his death. I won't lie, its not easy.
But Dad would never want me lingering in grief when there is beauty and life to live. Adventures to take. Memories to make. Cakes to bake. lol
I look around me...healthy family. My mom has moved in with us...and its so sweet to have her here. To be able to just go downstairs and get a hug or have a quick chat. The boys love to run down and visit her.
As she unpacks, the space is slowly starting to resemble her condo in Ohio. Similar feel, art, furniture.
She has one of the biggest hearts of anyone I know. And brave enough to move cross country, leaving the only state she's ever known at 74 years old. I only hope and pray that living here will be a journey of peace, encouragement and comfort for her.
We still have a bit of settling to do...but it will come. One day at a time...
So as we leave 2015 and cross over into 2016 tonight, my heart pulls in spinning directions. Bittersweet. Missing dad. Thankful for mom. Missing family in Ohio, yet thankful to be here and settled under a blanket of stars decorating the hills behind us. Our own little slice of heaven...as my dad would say. He loved his home in the country and I know we will too.
As I drove home from errands this afternoon, I was winding down the country dirt roads to our house. I thought of dad...and how he must of felt driving home from work to his country dirt road. It is peaceful. Something in the air changes. The lights and heat of the city dissipate and your mind opens up. The closer I get to nature, the closer I feel to God...the closer I feel to dad.
I'm finally home...for now. My next home will be eternal, hopefully. I pray we never have to leave this place. And I'm excited for the memories to be made in 2016.
So far we have my darling 85 year old uncle coming, my in-laws, my brother & his kids, my cousin mentioned coming with his boys to ski, and the boys are already asking for play dates with school friends and neighbors. All on the books for the first few months of 2016. I even get to go on a work trip to Cabo with my other brother. Can't wait to see what God lines up for the rest of 2016. : )
Life will be full. And I'm sure the tears will happen along the way. But I feel like Dad is gently sending messages my way...its ok. Time to settle in, make our house our home, open the doors and let life bloom. He was a great example of that...and took pleasure in the simple things. Like his ring toss game....which I hope to install on our back patio come spring. : )
Its time to embrace the moments I have with mom. Embrace the friends & family that visit. Embrace the gift of this property and share it with others. Embrace these kiddos that are growing faster than I like. Nothing is "ours." We deserve nothing. Life can change in a minute. I am constantly reminded of that. We are so abundantly blessed and thankful. I keep telling Shane that I pray that our biggest expense is food....for entertaining. May God give us servants hearts and the means to deliver.
Pray you have a safe and fun-filled new years eve. May you have a blessed, successful and healthy new year.
Thank you, Lord, for my healthy family. I look at my boys and smile at their growing bodies, quirky gates and toothy grins. They are full of such love. We are beyond blessed. Thank you. Thank you.
Happy New Year Everyone!
"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams."
~ Eleanor Roosevelt