New Year

Happy New Year Everyone!

Today is my dad's 68th birthday. I just came home from a great celebration and had my annual serving of pork & sauerkraut. I'm really excited about 2009 and wanted to take a minute to reflect on 2008.

I would have to say that 2008 was the best year of my life so far. I have moved so many times in my life (cross country too) that it was SO nice to be in a home where I know we'll be for at least a few years. I was able to 'nest' and relax and focus on other things...like our family.

I loved having the luxury of staying home with Finn. It is a busy job, but I am SO thankful to be here doing it. I, personally, would not want anyone else doing it. I have no judgement for the working mom's out there...to each their own and I respect you! All I can say is for myself and I loved every minute of it! Finn has brought so much joy to my life and our family.

In 2008 we had some fun memories...I'm trying to think of my top three. Of course I immediately think of all the fun 'firsts' we had with Finn this year...but you have probably read about those already, so I'm going to try to think of three others. :)

1. Doing what I love. This is the first time in my life that I am really doing what I love. I LOVE photography. I love working with people, taking pictures, editing pictures and giving them something they love and will cherish for years to come. What a gift to finally be in a place in my life that I can delve into this profession and enjoy it! I also LOVE being a mommy...so when I'm not taking pictures, I still love my 'job'. I would have to say this is the first year since I was 5 years old that I am truly doing what I love. I went through school, more school and worked from age 12 on (babysitting, then waiting tables through HS and college, Little Debbie routes, sold Partylite, delivered phone books, school teacher, tutored, actuarial analyst, loan processor, real estate agent, travel agent and now this...). I'm still 'working'...but I finally feel like I'm where I was always meant to be.

2. Buying a camper. I'm really excited about this because it symbolizes many things for me. I love our family. I believe I have one of the best guys out there and I love him so much! I was thrilled when he came home with the camper and I'm excited for our family road trips ahead. I know it may be a few years before it's relaxing (it will be hard w/ little ones), but it will be fun and what a great way to build family memories that will last a lifetime. I hope this summer we can take our first trip!

3. Comfortable in my skin. I have always been a worry wort. I know most of us are our own worst enemies, and I seem to take it up a notch. I always worry about what people think of me and fuss over staying attractive for myself and my husband, being a good mother/wife/friend, being a good Christian, neighbor, etc. Staying at home really challenged me this year. After having a baby and gaining WAY too much weight it took me all year to work on getting it off. I just finished nursing about a month ago, so I'm still battling the last few pounds. Anyone who has stayed home after having a career knows it is a long adjustment. It is hard to feel 'accomplished' at the days end when you have been running ragged and yet feel like nothing is done. I can't tell you how many times Shane asked me what I did all day and I know I was busy, but can't name one thing. The blessing in this is I finally had to get over my insecurities. I had to love myself through it and forgive myself at the day's end if my house was a mess and/or dinner was not ready (or even thought of!). My husband is SO very gracious and supportive. We accomplished so much this year with his business and mine...but I could not have done it without his help and compassionate soul. He allowed me the time and space to find my way...and I finally feel comfortable with myself. The weight was worth it to have Finn so beautiful, healthy and happy. My wrinkles, imperfections and changed body is exactly as a mommy should be...it's that time in my life and its time to accept it (and Shane sweetle says...it's all part of growing old together and promptly points out his imperfections). I often see other women and long for their energy, their look or want to be 'more' in some way. I feel like I'm failing or not doing enough. Although I still challenge myself on a daily basis...I have also come to a place of peace. I am who I am. I like jeans. I like scarves. I like boots. I like accessories. I like to wear jammies all day with Finn every once in awhile. I like my house...even when its messy. I like music. I love to dance and sing (even though I know my voice isn't that great!). I love to laugh and be silly. I love to be outside. I love a glass of wine, smores and a fire on summer nights with my husband. I love Finn's morning snuggles. I love the sunshine. I love to be home. I love the Lord. I love my husband. I love our family. And finally...I love me. :)


With that said...here are some dreams/resolutions for 2009!

We may have another Polen family member on the way by year's end (God willing!). I hope to do yoga and cardio more regularly. I hope to go to bed 30 minutes earlier every night and spend that time in the Word. I hope to write at least 2 hours a week. I hope to get organized thorughout the year. Donate what we don't need, keep what we can 'recycle' (Hudson's toys and old clothes) and organize what we readily use. I hope to be more 'green'. I hope to stick to this plan!

I wish all of you the very best and abundantly blessed year!

PS. Christmas photos are coming...I think tonight was the last party! So hopefully this weekend I'll get them up. :)

Happy New Year!