Repentance & Rest

This week's Bible study conversation was based on obedience to God's word.  Something I struggle with daily.  Just this week, I've lost my cool…on more than one occasion.  This winter has been long, and has no end in sight.  We have been cooped up.  Bored.  Antsy.  Restless.

What do I fill my time with?  Checking Facebook….13,000 times a day.  Instagram.  Stocks.  Pinterest.   Texting.  Why not do something useful….like reach out to a friend in need?  Play with my kids.  Get the markers out and get in their world for a bit.  Why is is SO HARD to make these simple changes?  I'd rather run a load of laundry, answer emails, empty the dishwasher, scrub the floor than take time to SLOW DOWN and get my heart straight.  Why is that?!

Isaiah 30:15 gives us these simple equations:

Repentance + Rest = Salvation
Quietness + Trust = Strength

Boy do I need a big dose of both right now.

Only in recognizing my own faults and repenting.  Only in taking time to be STILL and rest will I truly find the time/focus to make any changes.  In this simple obedience, I will find peace in salvation.  Confessing my sins.  Praying for the Holy Spirit to fill me.  Allowing myself to let go and enjoy the moment.  In gratitude.  Then peace….peace will flow.

Only in quietness with trust in the Lord will I find strength.  Strength to get through the days that seem never-ending.  Strength to raise my kids as He would want me to, not left to my own devices.  Strength to reach out to those in need instead of being so wrapped up in my own little world.  Strength to be who He created me to be, not cower in the insecurities this world brings.

Matthew 6:34
Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own.

I need this tattooed backwards on my forehead.  You?

The best part of this week's study…was the reminder to get straight with God FIRST THING every day.

EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.

Why?  Because…in the morning, we are RESTED.  In the morning, everything from the previous days trials still lays fresh on our hearts…waiting to be repented.  The morning is full of quietness.  Its easier to search and find trust in the Lord….before the distractions of the day begin.

This is something God has told me repeatedly.  And I keep making excuses.  I'm tired.  I work late.  I'm not a morning person….which surely He'd understand as He made me this way!  lol  Once the kids are older and more independent.  Once I get these chores done.  Once I finish the laundry (like that will ever happen).

I wanted to look back at my resolutions and grade myself.  How am I doing thus far?  What have I implemented in my life.  What am I still lacking?  Lets see….

1. New schedule for work.  Hoping it will grant me the time to do more devotionals/praying.  Playing with my kids.  Cooking for my family.  Supporting my husband.  Yet still pleasing my clients and growing my business.  No TV.  Less iPhone.  Just molding and shaping my days to be full….but in a way that breeds love, not stress.

I have done this, for the most part.  I have done more cooking.  I have done  a little more playing.  I have definitely taken a few nights 'off' work to read, relax, or just sleep.  I haven't watched TV, but I'm still using my iPhone too, too much.  Its SO addicting!  But my schedule (for work/photography) was manageable this month.  Not too much and (thankfully) not too little.  Praise for that!  I'll continue working on the others…especially the daily devotions.

2.  Drinking 65oz+ of water every day.

I did this for the first week or two….but have been slacking recently.  I feel SO much better when I do this.  Time to get back on track!

3.  Get my fruits/veggies in…..consistently.

This I've been good about.  SuperBowl Sunday I crashed.  But for the most part, I've been doing well here.

4.  Truly take a day for Sabbath.  Shut down technology.  Be with my family.  Embrace God and His love.  Reflect, Renew, Rejoice.

Not happening at all.  Tisk, tisk.  This HAS to be a priority.  Its probably the most important thing on this list!

5.  Do daily devotions/prayers - at any point of the day (mornings are too much pressure….then I feel like a failure all day if I don't get to them).

Well, if you've read this far….I think you know how I'm doing here.  I recognize that it really, does need to be in the mornings.  I am reading my devotions at least every 2-3 days.  But I am also realizing how appalled I am at my behavior changing (especially towards my husband & kids) on the days I miss doing this.  It is a necessity and truly needs to happen in the morning.  Maybe I need to get up at 6?!?!  OY!!!!

6.  Less shopping.  More saving.  More tithing.  More gifting.

I'm happy to report that my shopping this month was minimal. The boys needed tennis shoes (ahem….Finn was wearing an 11 and was sized at 13.5!  and Miles was wearing an 8 and sized at 9.5! Bad mommy!!!  lol).  But for the most part….I'm on the right path!  And I started selling stuff we don't need anymore….so not only am I spending less, but I'm also making more!  Whoohoo!

7.  Better communication the 'old' way.  Hand written notes (or even an email) instead of a quick FB post or text.  Take time to call and give them my full attention.  Be a better listener.

Did a little bit of this.  Had a few good visits with some AZ family that were town.  Had a few phone conversations with friends/family that I don't get to do often.  So I will say good here too.  I really enjoy doing this so it isn't as hard as getting up earlier for devotional time.

8.  Take more photos (candid) of my family.  Use my polaroid camera more.  Print photos from my phone more.  Create family albums.

I haven't been good about this either.  Today I took a few pics of the boys for Valentines cards.  But as far as taking videos/photos around the house….nope.  No polaroids.  No iPhone.  Nothing more printed.  Need to work on this.

9.  Bless others through actions.  Include the kids.  Ie, bake cookies together to deliver.  Donate used shoes, toys.  Have a garage sale, then use the money to bless a struggling family.  Teach my kids that when you give/bless others it warms your heart with love and peace that overflows.  Far better than any 'good' temporary feeling we may get from buying/doing something for ourselves.

Haven't done anything major here either.  I did do some private/anonymous tithing to some people in need….but need to work more on including the kids.  One exciting thing tho….Shane and I did talk about doing missions together in the future and how we could include the kids.  I know this will become a reality…so that's exciting.

10.  Date night with my hubby.  At least once every 3 wks.  Because I know our crazy schedules….yet once/month seems like too little.  So 3 wks is our starting point - and seems doable.

We did it!! We went last Fri - 3 wks after our snowboarding time together.  And I booked our sitter every 3 wks from here till April.  I'm excited for this and we get so much out of our time together.  : )

Well, I better sign off.  I get this 'itch' to write and let my soul spill.  Thank you for listening.  Time to go spend the day with my family. I did do my devotions before writing this post! ; ))  Hope you are doing well with your resolutions and take time to repent & rest.  In quietness and trust.