To me, winter in Ohio means hibernation. Living in a cave. No fresh air. No sunshine. No outside playing. And often (from the swarming flu viruses and various illnesses) no play dates. I'm also a touch of a germaphobe - so winter and I truly, do not get along. The heavy, grey clouds seem endless. The forecast is a joke. Most days I don't even look.
Today:
Dead bushes, white/grey sky, bitter cold. And its the first day of spring.
I lived in Phoenix one year followed by Colorado for 3. Moving back to Ohio after having 300+ days of sunshine a year has been challenging to say the least. I miss those 70 degree shorts days in CO in January. I want to be happy. I want to not care. I want to continue doing everything I normally would. I wish I could. I try.
Even more depressing - my SAD light that is supposed to 'trick' my mind into thinking I've been exposed to sunlight smells like a xerox machine. Old school style. So I have been avoiding it.
I know, Debbie Downer. I guess my point in this blog is to encourage those of you out there that feel the way I do....that you're not alone. I think Ohio suffers one of the gloomiest winters in the USA. So fellow neighbors, friends and family - its normal to feel this way. Hopefully we'll catch a break VERY soon.
Till then, I'll be dreaming of the day I wake up and look out at this view. Which will, indeed, someday be my view as we're closing on this particular piece of property next week. Good Friday to be exact. The first time we looked at this property (summer 2012) I saw a rainbow. Our offer didn't go through (couldn't agree on a price with the seller). This time - lower price, better deal AND we've now hiked that beautiful butte you see in our future backyard twice. We had breakfast at the top. All I could feel was God screaming - THIS IS HOME!!! I could see our boys climbing on the rock outcrops along the trail. Feeding the cattle as they roam the land. Watching the sunset over the Denver mountains. Using our backyard for client photos. I cannot wait. I know God has a whole other story for us here. My seatbelt is fastened. I'm ready for the ride.
In case you're wondering - we are not moving anytime soon. We have land to pay for, businesses to take care of, and a home to (eventually) build. My guess is we'll be in OH another 2-5 years. During this time I plan to make the best of it. Ugly winters & all.
Part 2: Circle of Life
My dad's cousin passed this morning. His sister in law passed a month ago...who was widowed 25 years ago by his brother. Needless to say, my dad has very few blood relatives left. I lost my grandfather at a young age and my grandma in high school. We had lunch with Papa today. It was great to see him. Even better to see how my boys light up his eyes. And once again I'm reminded to focus on the 'balance'.
My mom texts me every morning. Or calls. We actually talk quite a few times every day. I keep close tabs on her as she lives alone. But yesterday she didn't call. Didn't text. Didn't answer my calls. I started at 10:10 (thinking she may have slept in, jumped in the shower, etc). By noon I was in a full blown panic attack streaming tears and all. I was driving to her house (after getting Finn from school), my brother already there. Both of us shaking, trembling and wondering/worrying about what the rest of our day might be. She was fine. Praise the Lord! She woke up late, had a late breakfast date with her girlfriend and in the rush of leaving, forgot her phone. She stayed out with her till noon - when my brother met her at her house - us both relieved to find out she was perfectly fine.
Once again - reminded of the circle of life. Take time for the ones you love.
My mom always says a prayer - Please let my wits be about me, my feet be beneath me, till the Good Lord calls me. I pray she gets her request. I pray you & I do too. But it is never easy on those left behind. So this week's lesson - use my time wisely. Choose my words carefully. Love to the fullest.
So here is to SAD and the circle of life. Hah - the sun just peeked through a cloud! : )